The Birth of The Sun

Today is the eve of the Winter Solstice.  Tonight is especially auspicious because as of the Witching Hour, the Moon will be full, a total lunar eclipse will be in progress, and Winter will come in it's full being in the Northern hemisphere of our blessed Earth.

I'm giddy with excitement.  I can feel the surge and anticipation as the Great Mother is in labor, preparing to give life and rebirth to the Sun.  And for the third year in a row I will be joining with others to drum up the Sun at beautiful, magickal, majestic, Red Rocks Park.

I can feel the night and darkness coming, the womb of creation preparing itself for its glorious moment of birth.  I am grateful for my intune-ness with the cycles of the Earth and the Mysteries of the Universe.  I am grateful I have found my path as a Pagan and Witch, and that I have such a wonderful community with which to celebrate these special days.

It nice to know we start the season.  First comes the Solstice then Christmas.  I have the giddyness of a little kid, and the understanding of a Pagan.  Finally things make sense to me that I had questioned for so long.  Why the tree, why evergreen, why lights?  I have the blessing to have walked different religious paths as a Christian, and then a Muslim, before finally arriving here.  Today I am grateful for the path of Seeker, which I walked for so long.  Now I am at peace, joyful and serene.

Blessed Be.

Seven Days Until Halloween!

According to my ticker, its 7 days until Halloween.  I'm getting so excited I can hardly stand it.  Tonight is the 19th Annual Denver Witches' Ball and for the second year in a row, I will be participating in the opening ritual.

I remember last year, how scared I was to be in public, calling the quarters.  We had a great opening ritual and everything went fine.  This year I don't have the jitters as bad, except that I lead off the quarters by starting with Air, my personal element being the Gemini that I am.

I'm also excited because as fate would have it, I am able to stay until the midnight ritual.  I've never been able to participate in the midnight ritual due to my work schedule.  So the Ball indeed looks good from my perspective this year!

Following the Ball, the next weekend a dear friend of mine is holding a Day of the Dead party.  I am very honored that she felt so inspired after attending my party for the last few years, that she has decided to hold her own.  I'll be going over early to help her set up her altar and the energies for a fabulous night.

The next day, my Circle and I will have Samhain dinner and ritual at my home.  I'm very excited about this, as I've wanted to hold a formal Samhain dinner for years.  It will be so nice to actually sit down and enjoy dinner with my Circle and family.

I hope that you too are getting excited about the Season and having fun making plans, going to parties, or just hanging out with your loved ones.

Blessed Be,
Sister Najah

Remembering Those We Love - Samhain (Your Halloween)

A dear and beloved friend passed away yesterday.  He was like a brother to us, a friend to our son, a great person, wonderful father and he is deeply missed.  I write this piece in memory of Chad Blatt.

Halloween is coming.  I can feel it the air and most everywhere I go, homes are decorated with Witches, ghosts, spider webs and monsters.  Pumpkins are for sale as well as gobs of candy.  But my heart isn't there, it's grieving over the passing of our beloved Chad.

I'm grateful that as a practicing Witch, I know the real meaning of Halloween, which we call Samhain.  It's nice to remember our ancestors and those who have gone before us.  We hold a dumb supper and set a place for our loved ones who are now on the other side.  How grateful am I to know this night is coming.  And true, as we say the veil between the Seen and Unseen is thinnest at this time allowing us to commune with our Ancestors should we choose to.  We light candles and fires for them to find their way as they come to be with us, should they choose.  We ask them not to stay, and we call them not, we simply honor them and are grateful should they choose to visit us for a while on Samhain night.
I'm glad we have this night to honor our dead.  I find our American culture is sorely lacking in Ancestor veneration and rememberance.  We bury our dead, grieve and then move on.  We're not supposed to talk about death and certainly not embrace it by setting a place for our passed on, loved ones at are table.
For years I've held a party on Halloween night, not only for Witches but for anybody who would like to come.  No mistake we party, but we also take time to remember and honor everyone who has brought a memento of their loved one.  Each year I am surprised and humbled by how many non-Witches want to attend and how many people get so filled by taking a turn a sharing about their loved ones who have passed on.
Another benefit I've received from holding my party is getting to know the ancestors of my friends.  Each year my friendship deepens with my friends, by listening to them tell their stories of their loved ones on the other side.  And isn't that what we're about, our stories, the threads of our lives?
So this year my heart is sad as I decorate my home for the Holiday, but I am also gladdened to know I will set a place for our beloved Chad, and wish him love.

 Blessed Be.

Halloween Movie Time

The Halloween movies have begun!  I'm keeping a log of the movies I watch and rating them from 1-5 brooms, 5 being Witchtastic!

Today's movie "Hocus Pocus".  I give it 4 brooms!

*** I'm a Disney fan, so I enjoyed the movie from that perspective, but unfortunately and subtly it promotes long held stereotyphes.  I still think Bette Midler rocks, I want her dress!  And Sarah Jessica Parker is just wonderful, and Kathy Najemy has the best hair.

Sittin' in the Cemetery

I've been blessed to be a co-author, on the blog "Hoodoo Crossroads".  Check out my latest post "Sittin' in the Cemetery":

http://hoodoocrossroads.wordpress.com

Blessed Be and Happy New Moon,
Najah

Friday the 13th Magick

Today is Friday the 13th of August, 2010.  As a practicing Witch, Hoodoo Rootworker, and believer in magick, I wake up tingly and excited about this day.  I know that as there are possibly thousands of people who superstitious about this day, I for one am excited about the magick this day holds.

The number 13 is a sacred number in my world.  I resonate to it as the number of lunar cycles in the year, which corresponds to the Full Moon esbats me and my Circle hold every year.  It's the number of a powerful herb cleansing bath used in Hoodoo.  It used to be the time most girls started their period.

I began this day early. I rose at 4:00 a.m. to witness the Perseid Meteor shower and oh what a display!  As I softened my eyes I could see the sky lit up with meteors crisscrossing, zig zagging across the dark of the early morning.  And then whoosh, a huge meteor went right across the sky.  The stars were out, I could clearly see the Pleaides.  It was truly a magickal moment.

I went back to bed to grab a little more sleep, before getting ready for work.  I was excited to perform my daily prayer and meditation, where I often pull a tarot card.  Imagine my surprise when I drew:

I am attuned to the magick and surprise of this day and night!  Blessed Be!

Paring Beer with Ritual

Over at The Juggler - I'm following Laura LaVoie's blog, who is discussing pairing beer with Sabbats.  I've been enjoying her posts, especially because she's given me some different choices to mead and wine, since I'm not a big fan of either.  While I enjoy mead, sometimes its too sweet and sticky, and red wine has always given me a headache.

Well for this Lammas, Laura recommended Mothership Wit from New Belgium Brewery, which is brewed right here in my Colorado.  I like New Belgium for their Sunshine Wheat, but I had never heard of Mothership Wit.  I'd thought I'd try it on the name alone.

Happy to say, I found some without any problem and it was our libation for Lammas celebration:

I enjoyed the light and smooth taste of Mothership Wit and have now added it to our lists of favorite beers.  It was fun drinking beer for Lammas.  We celebrated the harvest with wheat beer, fresh produce from our garden and the local market, and flowers from my flower beds.

I'm looking forward to Laura's post for Mabon.

End Trans
Blessed Be

Blessed Lammas

Today is August 1st.  The Wheel has turned and my emotions and body can sense the change in the air.  Summer's highs are coming to a close.  There is a solemn vibe in the air.  Tonight we will feast and share drink, perhaps make a fire and contemplate the goodness the summer has brought.  We will look forward to the upcoming fall and the cold days and nights that lie ahead.

That's my spiritual voice speaking. In truth I'm a warm weather girl.  I love the sunshine and the flowers.  I love being able to go outside without layers and no socks.  I feel lifted and lightened by early mornings spent watering my garden.  Oh how I love the sunny days!

The Summer has been a blast.  Fun, fun, fun (!) days spent at the Renn Faire.  The Moonlight Classic Bike ride with 3 to 4 thousand of my closest friends, and a private party at the Renn Faire, I shall never forget.  These are the summer highs I look forward to all year and now the Wheel has turned.  Am I feeling a bit sad?  Yes a wee bit.  The Witches Almanac used the word "bittersweet" to describe this day, and indeed that is a good word for my feelings.

Yet, I know the Wheel must turn.  One of the best things about being a practicing Witch is knowing and anticipating these cycles.  I know golden days of Fall are coming.  I know Samhain is coming, and I'm already planning my celebration.  I know sparkly, white, snowy days are coming.  I love looking and walking in the Colorado snow, just not driving in it so much anymore.

So today our Pagan community will pause and honor the seasons and the turn of The Wheel.

Blessed Be.

End Trans.

Today's Magick

I drew the Tower Tarot Card today.  Ouch.  Everytime that card turns up, I feel ice move in my belly.  My thoughts race, "oh no, what bad news is coming, am I going to have a bad day, will I be able to handle it?"

I've chosen to balance my readings with cards from two other decks - The Goddess Oracle Cards by Doreen Virture and Medicine Cards by David Carson and Jamie Sams. Thankfully the Tower card was balanced by Mother Ishtar, telling me it's time to define my boundaries.  So instead of a free fall from the Tower, with no parachute, I have Mother Ishtar guiding me down, helping me to land on my feet.

End Trans
BB (Blessed Be)

Everyday Magick

I started this blog to chronicle all the magickal things that happen to me living a mundane life.  I've been remiss in doing that as life has given me the blues lately.   Today I'd like to remedy that by beginning to journal about the magickal, mystical things that happen to me on a daily basis.  May they serve to ignite a little magick in the reader's life.

Bike ride July 5, 2010

Today my husband and I went for a bike ride.  We decided to do something different by taking our bikes to the Montview neighborhood and riding around.  It was a lovely day.  Sun shining, and big green trees diffusing the light on wide avenues.

We set out to ride to Joseph's Fried Chicken on 29th and Fairfax.  We got there but Joe was closed for the Holiday.  No worries we'll definitely be back.  As we took a spin around the North Park Hill neighborhood we came upon a magickal garden.  The toilet caught our eye:

 
We got off our bikes and took a stroll and found the most wonderful, very well maintained magickal garden:

 And then there was the shoe tree:

 
We finished with Peace on Earth:

 Just a little Holiday bike ride brought magick into our lives.

Blessed Be (BB)
End Trans

Acute Minority Status Attack

Last night my husband and I went to see a comedian at the Buell theatre.  We were really pysched because magic happened when we were looking for tickets.  We kept searching and searching and finally on the fifth try I got tickets in orchestra section.  Imagine our surprise when we were seated in the third row from the stage!  That was awesome, and now I am inspired to search for tickets to other concerts we are interested in attending.

But that is not the basis of this post.  This post is about the other surprise I had at the concert.  One that knocked me off my ass and made me stand up for myself. 

The comedian is a nationally known act.  We never once gave a thought to the potential audience that would attend the concert.  Imagine my shock when we arrived at the Buell theatre, which seats almost 3,000 people and I was the only Black face in the crowd.  The "ONLY".  Imagine my horror as we sat down in the third row and I thought "uh-oh" this could be bad (My husband thinking the same thing) that my uniqueness could end up as part of the comedy act.  Thankfully that never happened, but it took a lot for me to stay present in the show as I vascilliated between fear of being called out and fear of what the fuck am I doing here?

I live in a predominantly Anglo state.  I know that.  I'm married to an Irish-Scottish American.  Yep got that too.  But rarely do I find myself the ONLY brown face in a crowd or at an event. It was scary, it was creepy.  I kept looking for another me but I never saw one.

I've been blessed that in my 50 years of living I've not been the victim of overt racisim.  Subtle racisim sure, but I never let it slow me down.  But last night was different.  I felt fear in my cells.  Cellular memories surfaced that have nothing to do with my lifetime, but the lifetimes of my ancestors.  Nobody was mean or rude to me last night, but no one was openly friendly either.  I could feel looks of "what are you doing here".  I just tried to hold it together, when my fight or flight instincts were going into overdrive.

Funny thing though, that incident last night made me think about situations in my life where I have been unwilling to stand up for myself.  Situations were I have played victim when really I have the strength and courage to strong.

I've learned to be a people pleaser.  Perhaps people pleasing and being a minority go hand in hand.  "Hey, just don't make waves and try to get along".  Its easier.  But where does that actually get you?  Or some folks go the other way and walk around with chips on their shoulders, but that's no fun to be around either.  So there must be a balance.  Sometimes you go with the flow and sometimes you just have to say, that's enough of that!

So I said to myself after feeling fear in a new way, "that's enough of that!" and took care of some long standing issues that had been festering.  Interesting how an acute attack of minority status brought me to strength.

End Trans.

A Quiet Room

There's an ache where there used be a smile, concern, apprehension, caring, anxiety.  Its been three weeks now since my son moved out and I miss him terribly.

I wake up with his name on my lips.  Calling for him as if he's in trouble.  My mind searching for him, but he's not here.  He's in his own place.  Where he should be, where its time for him to be, and yet all this intellectual knowledge doesn't soothe my heart.

I'll be candid.  Relations with my own family are skewed, distant and weird.  We just don't get each other.

But my relationship with my son is different.  He's my flesh and blood and we're tight.  We're close, we're friends.

He's in the city.  He's not faraway, but there's definitely a change in our domicile.  I know he's not just out, hanging out.  He's on his own and he's most likely not coming back - to live.  Which is I know how it should be and yet I still miss him.

I think of the parents who have lost their children.  Whose children have died before them, or been lost or never come home.  What a terrible, terrible, loneliness and ache that must be for them.  A room silent, with only memories.  A waiting that never goes away.

So in my empty nest grief, I find gratitude that my son is just a few miles away.  I find gratitude that if I send him a text, he writes me right back, and trust that in time this too shall pass.

Blessed Be

End Trans 4/28/10

Blessed Day, Happy Earth Day

Blessed Mother, Divine Mother,

On this day we thank you for the Sun which shines upon us,
The Rain that pours down upon us,
The night that cloaks us,
The Moon that lights us,
And your body which sustains us.

I thank you for the sunny days which make me smile, and the cloudy days that make me frown.  I thank you for teaching me balance, that day follows night, that calm follows storm.
I thank you for your beautiful oceans and all the glorious creatures that live and swim in your waters.
I thank you for all beings human, winged, four-legged, hoppers, runners, jumpers, and the ones that creep me out!
I thank you for green meadows in which to lay my head
And most of all thank you for beautiful butterflies.
Thank you for taking the bodies of those I have loved, resting them and returning them to your body, from whence we all come.
Blessed Mother, Divine Mother
Happy Earth Day to You.

End Trans 4/22/10

Tituba, Salem and Me

I recently donated to the World of Witches Museum.  Its going to be located in Salem, MA and I adore Salem.

I believe I had a past life there.  The first time I visited there I walked around with a prior knowledge of places and I dreamed true there, about mass burials in a grave.  I donated to the Museum because on their Kickstarter page they said they would have an exhibit honoring Tituba.  I like the title the author Maryse Condé gave her, "Tituba, the Black Witch of Salem".


I feel Tituba and I are Spirit Kin.  I feel bonded to her, connected to her.  So little is known about her, yet we know her presence, her knowledge, craft and magick ignited the Salem Witch Trials.  I feel because of Tituba's strength and presence I can be the Witch I am today, and the Witch I hope to become.  Tituba brought me to Hoodoo.  She whispered in my ear and told me I could do it, and showed me that it was in my blood.  Tituba was married to an American Indian man, and my grandfather was a full blood Cherokee.  Tituba was a slave and so were my ancestors.  We are connected.


I hope the World of Witches Museum reaches their goal.  Our community, our world needs such a place.  If Salem touches your heart, won't you consider donating too?


End Trans 4/8/10

A Place of His Own

Our nineteen year old son announced to over the weekend that he was moving out.  He's got a little piece of real estate in a place with a friend.  Its a big day.  Now granted knowing the stats for kids moving out and then moving back in are high, it was the ritual of the official moment that brought this Mom to tears.

His girl and his best friend showed up to help him pack.  He took the necessities and said he'd back in a few days for other things.  Being the good Witch and Conjurer that I am, I packed him a black bag full of goodies for a young wizard stepping out on his journey.  It was hard not to really cry at that point, the moment was not lost on both of us.  "You grew up when I wasn't looking", I remember saying.

So maybe he'll be back and maybe he won't.  I know I never went back home after I left.  That determined streak may be in him too.  Time will tell.  Either way, today was a moment marked in time, and I'm glad it came with love, happiness and celebration.

Now for that shot of whiskey.

End Trans 4/4/10

Muscles, Bones and Tissue

It was a sunny day.  The first real spring day in Denver.  It was also the celebration of my 10th wedding anniversary and my husband and I decided to take an adventure.  We went to see the Body Worlds exhibit at the Denver Museum of Natural History.

I was a little nervous and excited at the same time.  In my youth, when I had dreams of being a physician, I visited cadaver labs.  No need to go into details here, but lets just say it's an experience one never forgets.  And the smell, oh.  Enough said.

But we had heard excellent reviews about Body Worlds.  Words like "brilliant, unforgettable, educational".  So we bought our tickets and went to to see the bodies.

Upon arriving, I thought I smelled formaldehyde, but I realized it was my mind playing tricks on me.  I guess I was expecting to smell it.  I was actually glad there was no odor, no scent of any kind.

We had to show our tickets to two different groups of volunteers, before we gained admission to the exhibit.  There were signs everywhere telling us there were no bathrooms inside the exhibit, and once you entered you had to go through the entire exhibit to exit.  Ok, we were pretty psyched by now and and the thrill of what we were going to see was palpable.

As soon as we entered the exhibit hall our ears heard the sound of a deep heartbeat and it seemed we in a room of deep red.   Thats the only way I can describe it.  And then we saw our first body.

Muscles exposed, tendons, joints, bones.  Its all there for the naked eye to see.  Bodies in all different poses.  Parts of bodies, pieces of bodies.  Healthy parts, diseased parts.  Awe inspiring, jaw dropping, "and what is that?" bodies.

Most of the bodies were male.  When I saw my first woman I got a little emotional.  Oh my gosh, thats what we look like inside.  My awareness, love and respect for my body has changed tremendously.  We are a creation of brilliance.  We are a mind blowing creation and I shuddered at how some people have so little respect for our humanity.

I hope more people will go to the see the exhibit.  My husband and I both feel it embodies the word "education'.

We may go back again before the exhibit closes or we may not.  Either way we are better people, better humans for having had the experience and we hope others will too.

Here's a link to the exhibit in case you're interested:

http://exhibitions.dmns.org/

End Trans 03/31/10

Spring Cleaning - Hoodoo Style

Its the night before the Full Moon and I'm prepping for an early morning rise, to spring clean the house, Hoodoo style.  Every spring I wash down my house with water, infused with Hoodoo condition oils to clean out the old and bring in the new.  I start on the top floor, work my way to the bottom floor, throw out the old water and scrub in new, blessings of abundance for my home and family.

I have found that when you move in the ways of the Spirit, it is very important to perform an annual cleansing of your home.  Now depending on the work I do, I always perform a cleansing afterwards to clean up and release from any work I've done.  However, our homes are our place of sanctuary and protection, and need to be cleansed on a routine basis.  I perform smudgings regularly, and burn cleansing incenses, but the Spring Cleaning is the intense one, which includes a wash down of all doorways and windows.

In our homes, we have locks and bolts on our doors and windows, and some homes even have alarm systems, but what about protections for the stuff that you can't see, only the negative vibes that you may feel?  Over the course of a year, lots of people come and go from our dwellings, bringing hopefully positive vibes with them, but there's always some funk hanging around.   Not to mention energies left over from family squabbles or unwanted visitors.  And if your a sensitive like me, energies will be drawn to you that you may not want to keep around!
And thus this is why I will rise before dawn, and silently wash down my home, and bless it and thank it for watching over me and my family, and our loved ones.

End Trans

03/28/10

Me and 50

My 50th birthday is approaching.  It will be here in approximately 2 months.  I've stopped coloring my hair and every time I look at it, I freak out at the enormous amount of gray that has settled in with a vengence.  I've always colored my hair.  But then a few months ago I decided to grow locs, and my hair was ecstatic.  I told my hair I'd stop coloring it too, and each time I said it, I felt it sigh a breath of relief. 

Its hard to look at myself in the mirror with gray hair.  I notice every strand, every curly-cue of gray.  I particularly dislike the ones on my sideburns.  And yet I'm holding strong to my promise not to color it.  I notice women with gray hair, and secretly size them up as to how they move in the world.  Are they gray with a youthful vibe, or are they stately and wise with their gray, or do they just look like "oh the hell with it - I'm gray, so be it!"  I think I fall into each category on any given day, depending on my particular mood.

Today I looked at my gray and said, "it's a snow topped mountain!"  "I have wisdom". Yeah, that's it - I keep telling myself.
Not to mention all the thoughts about mortality.  For the first time my husband and I talked about what we would call ourselves, when and if our children ever have kids - which we hope is still a long way off, cause they're still too young, in our opinion.

I look at my dog and she's getting up there (as they say) too.  I look to see if she's got gray eyebrows yet.  Nope not yet.  Yay.
Honestly I never thought I'd see myself with gray hair.  I've fantasized about it.  How great I would look with my brown skin and white hair.  But mine isn't white.  It's gray.  Whole different look.  And most of my friends are younger than me, and I'm also the oldest in the family.  So there's nobody to look up to as a woman and say - so how are you dealing with it?  Except my Mom of course.  I saw a picture of her recently and her gray did look nice, however Mom is also in her 70's.

So we're crossing a new river.  Gray and turning 50.  I've always been blessed with a youthful countenance.  Call it a Gemini blessing.  So facing this new path is a bit scary.  Yet I know there's something good here for me, if I can just stick it out.  I'll let you know how it goes after I turn 50 in May.

And for the record, in my profile picture I'm wearing a wig.  Hahaha, that's not really my hair, but how funny is that, that it's partly gray and it's one of my favorite photos!

End Trans
3/27/10

Ostara, Drums and Snow

Its the Spring Equinox on Saturday.  I've been looking through my magickal texts for tips on decorating my altar.  Even though I change the altar for each Sabbat, so it's something I do often, I still enjoy leafing through my texts, seeing if something new catches my eye.  Tonight I found myself looking through one of my favorites, Ed Fitch's "A Grimore of Shadows".  I love this book.  I found it in my favorite, dusty, used bookstore.  The pages are yellowed and its an original copy.  It screams Witch.  It has wonderful pen and ink illustrations, and its pretty well thought out.

Not only is it the Spring Equinox, its also Pow-Wow weekend.  I can feel the Pow-Wow coming.  I can hear the jingle-jangle of the Fancy Dancers and see the Elders in their beautiful regalia.  I can hardly wait to hear the Master of Ceremonies say "Everybody Dance! Its InterTribal Time".  I love the Pow-Wow.  It reaches down into my ancestry and connects me to the past and gives me glimpses into the future.  I always purchase one special item.  I let it call to me, so I know it when I see it.

Also on Saturday there's a big Ostara party, that goes all night long.  There'll friends and ritual and dancing and music, and we'll all have a blast.  I swear it seems the calendar just waits for this weekend.  So many things going on at once!  Thankfully I'll have Monday off to rest and recuperate.
Oh, and of course, we'll have SNOW!  Yep, the last blast of winter and the first wet of Spring is about to descend upon us.  Wouldn't be Colorado without a freaky turn in the weather.  Today it was 68 degrees, tomorrow it will 30.  Good thing I always have my snow boots ready.


End Trans 3/18/10

One Bad Apple

I have an iphone.  I love my iphone.  It's guided me safely in foreign cities, kept me twittering and sending emails, recorded my voice memos, and given me some cool apps to play.  Based on my iphone love, I felt I was ready to leave the world of Microsoft and purchase an iMac.  I felt like a traitor when I did it and I have since come to regret my decision!

I was lured in by the slick, sleek, design of the computer.  There's no tower, no cpu box to junk up your home office.  And the 21" screen is amazing, and the colors, ooh they're so pretty.  We bought our iMac on 1/31/10 and up until today I couldn't the @#$!!!ing thing to print!  What good is a computer if you can't get it to print?!!  I was unable and completely flabbergasted by the inability to set up my wireless printer!  Which by the way ran perfectly on my Windows based machines.

The support from Apple is quick, and responsive but in the end, they pointed fingers to the printer manufacturer.  At this point I really miss my clunky, beat-up laptop with the duct-tape covering a spot, that sat too close to a light, and just kept on working, machine.

Oh, I figured out the printer.  I am not one to be denied by *&^@# machine.  But it wasn't from Apple helping me, it was my own tenacity, tightly honed from working in IT that spurred me on.  But now the fax won't work.  UGH.

And get this, Apple support tried to SELL ME an extended warranty when I called them for support.  Now that's guts.  I kindly told them if I couldn't get the machine to print, it was no more than a paperweight, and I was interested in purchasing anything else.  The guy said "that sounds reasonable".

So for all it's slick hi-tech image, I have grown nostalgic for my old Windows based, virus susceptible, patch laden machine.  At least it prints, and it didn't take me 5 weeks to set it up!!

End Trans 03/14/10

Crafting and Conjuring

I was working last night.  I crafted and conjured some work for client who lives on the east coast.  I love working the Hoodoo.

I sip on some whiskey, listen to Billie Holiday and get to workin'.  When I am crafting and conjuring I am truly in my element.

I love being of service.  My dear sister Kate, and when I say "sister" I mean she is my Circle sister.  She gave me a lovely cabinet to hold my supplies and I blessed it and smudged it, and it looked so nice, filled with my oils, sachets, needles and threads, and pretty gift bags. 

You see I am a Hoodoo Practitioner, a Rootworker, and a practicing Witch.  I love the Moonlight, and the stars in the night sky.  I sit at my table and blend oils, mix salts, light candles, and pray the highest good be served for my clients.  I conjure spells of healing, prosperity, safe travel, and protection.  I work honey jars and match candles to astrological signs, and I love it.  It's here where I really touch my destiny, my life path, and what I came here to do. 

Now don't get me wrong, I still have my day job.  I'm blessed to be a successful person in the mundane world.  But when I'm conjurin' and craftin', the Universe opens up to me, and I  feel the touch of the Divine, and for that I am truly grateful. 

End Trans 3/10/10

The Wheel Turns

My son is 19 years old today.  Amazing.  It's hard for me to believe that 19 years have passed since he came into the world.  I can still feel his shiny new presence in my heart.  I can still remember that moment of holding him in my arms and singing "Happy Birthday" to him.  My Fishboy.

On the day he was born, Denver was a bright and sunny place.  And then every year after, his birth day, harkened incredible weather.  Mostly snow or even a blizzard.  However today we have very special weather, we have FOG.  Fog thick as pea soup, as folks used to say.  Eerie, magickal, mystical fog.  A true treat for us land-locked lubbers.

One of my favorite childhood stories was about a town that magically appeared, when the fog came down.  The little girl in the story would go for walks in the fog and visit the town. She became friends with all the towns people, and the when the fog lifted, the town would magically disappear.  Funny what one holds onto.

So today I am grateful for the fog, and especially for my son,  who is now 19 years old.

Blessed Be.

End Trans 03/07/10

Changes In Friendships

My friendships mean the world to me.  As a child I didn't have very many friends.  We moved a lot, and it was hard for me to sustain long term relationships with kids.

As an adult I've been blessed to love and lose friendships.  I say blessed because I've known the pain of a lost friendship, which means I've had friendships that when they were no longer, it broke my heart.

A week ago, my best girl from college, came and stayed the night with me.  She lives in California and I hadn't seen her in 8 years.  We had such a great time together.  Time seemed to fly by.  There's nothing better than yacking it up with your best girls.  I call it Women Time.  Talking about anything and everything, stop, take a breath, and talk some more.   Best thing ever.

And then one of my dear friends let me know I was doing something she didn't like.  "OW".  Its hard for me to say, I'm glad she told me, cause it hurt when she said it, and knocked me back a pace, but I am glad she told me.
I'm glad she valued our friendship enough to say something and not let my actions sit and seethe inside her, something I find we as women are very good at doing.  I'm also glad she told me because I would be so hurt to have learned a behavior that could be easily corrected, was never addressed, and she just left me in  a huff.  You know how we can be.  One moment we're there and then your girl is gone.  No explanation, nothing. Just a big ball of hurt where your friend used to be.

So, I'm humbled and having growing pains, but it's a good thing.  The journey continues to unfold.

End Trans 2/15/10

Me and The Chinese Food Lady

We've been getting delivery from the same Chinese food place for years.  It's great Chinese food.  It's just what you want - it's fast, hot, sweet, sticky and delicious.  But what really makes it stand out is the relationship between me and the Chinese food lady who takes my order, over the phone.  I've never met her and I've been ordering from China Dragon for 13 years.  The same woman always answers the phone.

We have a code.  She answers the phone in a way that you know you be better ready to order.  However when I give my address, it's our "hello".  I can hear the recognition and the smile in her voice.  I place my order with a smiling voice, and I know she knows we're one of her loyal customers.

End Trans 2/12/10

Stink, Stank, Stunk

Those are the feelings I'm left with after seeing the "Lovely Bones" at Harkins Northfield Theatres.  I won't be a movie spoiler, let's just say I give it a thumbs down.  I really wanted to like it, it was directed by Peter Jackson, and had some of my favorite actors in it - Susan Sarandon, Raschel Weisz.  But it just never came together, for us.

But the real reason for the stink, stank, stunk, was the group of little bitches that laughed out loud, talked out loud, got and up and down from their seats, god knows how many times, and sat in the very front row of the theatre.  In addition there was the woman who answered her cell phone, who sat next to me, then there was the theatre staff that tried to quietly assert their presence in the theatre, by standing obnoxiously next to the wall.  Add to that the other theatre staffer who came in with a clipboard and appeared to be taking some type of stats, and oh yeah, the baby that coughed and sputtered throughout the entire film.  All this for the glorious price of $9.50 per person!

As fate would have it, I walked out next to the little bitches, and one of them said "I want my money back".  Well, that was it, and I told them how much I had enjoyed being in the movie with them.  That conversation led to a confrontation in the hallway, and I recall the word "mama' being thrown around.

Its sad that an adult can't go to the movies anymore and not be submitted to the rude behavior of somebody else's kids.  Its awful people can't leave their cell phones in their pocket or purse for the duration of a film.
I continue to go to the theatre because I like the big screen and the popcorn, and the experience of going out to the movies.  But after tonight it will probably be a while before I plop down 10 bucks again for a movie.

End Trans 2/6/10

"Under the Milky Way" - Sia

Blessed Imbolc.

We gathered over the weekend.  It was a lovely Circle.  Just the four of us and we touched our divinity and felt the breath of the Goddess.

Tonight I'm alone.  Listening to "Under the Milky Way" by Sia.  I lit all my candles and cast a spell, a prayer to Brigid.  I felt calm and lifted.

I stepped outside and looked up to the cloudy sky and blew my kisses upward.  I know She hears me and feels me.

Today was a rough day.  Drama after drama unfolding in the online communities I belong to.  I am thankful that tonight I had a reason to pause, reflect and remember my foundation, and that which gives me strength and peace.

On a daily basis I say a prayer that begins with "In the face of adversity, uncertainty and conflicting sensory information, I hereby pledge to remain ever mindful of the magickal, mystical, mystical, loving reality in which I live....."  Although I've changed some of the words I can't take credit for the words.  They come from Mike Dooley and his TUT website.  "Conflicting sensory information", now thats a mouthful.  Pretty much sums up everything of living in the everyday world, while flitting back and forth between the worlds of Hoodoo and the Craft.  Oy vey.

I remain grateful for the simple ritual of lighting a candle and saying a prayer.

End Trans - 2/2/10

Blame it on the Craft

A&E's "Paranormal State". Why do I watch such crap?

One because I'm bored, the other because I find it "entertaining". However this last show got my blood boiling. A man with a pentagram tattooed on his arm that used to practice "Witchcraft" takes credit for calling up a "shadow demon" in Circle, then everybody freaks, and have been tormented ever since. Give me a f*$!ing break! Then the shows producers and the family start to calling it a seance. Then they say, well do you think this happened because you broke the Circle? So to "heal" the family they call on Jesus Christ, everybody sits around a table and clasps hands together and now it's "magically gone" and everyone is happy.
I find the entire show blasphemous and irresponsible. Complete and utter nonsense. And who knows, maybe he did call up something dark and freaky from his own mind(!) But to blame it on Witchcraft is awful.

Let me state it for the record, right here and right now - Circle is SACRED!  It's a place where Witches, Pagans, come to worship and honor the Goddess and the God.  It's not a place where one calls up dark forces or entities, or WHATEVER.  Circle is a sacred place where we touch our Divinity and are healed and blessed, just like Christians do when they go to Church and pray.  It's no different.  The same feelings of reverence and beauty and love exist, except maybe we're out in Nature -hopefully, or we're in someone's home or backyard.

I love being in Circle.  It fills my heart and lifts my soul.  Shame, shame on A&E's "Paranormal State".  I for one will be finding a new show watch, from now on, when I'm bored.

End Trans 1/24/10

New Journal Day

It's new journal day and I can feel myself getting all tingly inside.  I LOVE shopping for a new journal.  When I shop for a new journal I'm at the peak of my creative process.  I start to think about what store will I go to, what color will the book be, how will the pages look?  The thought of having a new journal to write in fills me with peace and inspiration.

I've journaled since I was a kid.  An empty place to hold my thoughts and words has always been my best friend.  Once on the advice of someone I trusted, I threw away all my journals. So sad, I know.  This person told me that keeping all those past memories under my bed was preventing me from moving forward, so I listened to them and threw them out.  I only regret throwing out one, it was my sweet little diary.  The one I'd had since I was eight years old.  It was orange and had a lock and a key.  It was my first diary.  I miss that one, still.  So note to anyone who is reading this and is a journaler - don't throw out your journals!  Maybe bury them or lock them away, but don't throw them out!

I moved into a new phase of journaling when I started working The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, and she taught me about Morning Pages.  Morning Pages have become my sweet, sweet, quiet time for reflection, meditation and insight.  At first I thought that if I wrote three pages, every day, I wouldn't have anything else to write, but it's been just the opposite.  Doing that mind dump in the morning frees up my thoughts. 
I look forward to writing my Morning Pages.  And thus far, in a process of 11 weeks, give or take, I haven't missed a day of writing my Morning Pages.  I plan to continue them even after I finish the workbook and I only have one more chapter to go.

The changes have been profound.  Julia Cameron got me to see myself as an artist, a label I would have never attributed to myself, since I'm not a painter, a dancer, a crafter, etc, etc, etc.  But I do have a good sense of color and magic, magick, and mystery, and ritual, and that makes me a creative person.  The other day I found a magnet that reads "Artists Always Welcome".  I bought it and stuck it up on my wall, in my creative space.  It makes me smile every time I look at it.

And then there are the Artist Dates, where you take your inner child artist, on a date.  It's all about them.  We've had a blast, buying silly, goofy, things and also some things that a little girl always wanted. Its funny, as an adult, you grow up learning to put your child self away, but what I've learned through the Artist's Way, is its the child inside, who is the most important part of your adult life.

So, I'm off to find a new journal and maybe even a new pen -ooooh, won't that be special!

End Trans 1/23/10

Prayers For Haiti

I belong to a great group on the web.  It's called MyHoodooSpace and it's provided courtesy of Dr.Kioni.com

There are many in this group who have deep religious ties to Haiti.  Of these beautiful people I have asked for a prayer.  This prayer touched my heart, and with the author's permission, I gladly share it here:

"Papa Legba, Antibon, Father of a Nacion du 'Ayti
The roads are covered Papa, the paths a blocked
Only you, Papa can clear the road. Lend your hand Papa,
Lend your hand to those whose hands toil for the preservation of your land
Lend your hand to those who are desolate and are lost
Lend your hand to those who are far from their Spiritual home
Lend your hand to 'Ayiti, and to all those who are of 'Ayiti that the roads and paths may be soon cleared
That a new day may come in 'Ayiti
Let it be known that it comes from God, through your hand Papa
Hear the cry of the children of Ginen and Lend your hand
Nou tout sen yo - we are all one
Ayibobo! Ayibobo! Papa Legba Antibon, Legba vye, Ayibobo!

This is my prayer ... feel free to use it, change it or ignore it, but this is what my heart is praying over and over right now for 'Ayiti, for it's people, and for all of us that have our soul and our gwo bon anj tied to that land."
by H'oungan Liam

I am learning a lot about Haiti and it's religions.  I thank H'oungan Liam for sharing this prayer from his heart, and for the power, strength, and peace I feel when I pray it.  As an open-minded person, I feel I can pray this prayer and let it be.  May you too feel its strength, comfort, and promise of hope.

End Trans 1/22/10

Tai Chi Me/Kung Fu You

It's been a week since my last post.  I've been stretched and pulled, groaning and grunting, and at one point I almost hyperventilated, from my three hour Yin/Yang stretching and conditioning class.  In one week I went to Tai Chi class, then I went to my first Kung Fu class, where I learned how much fun it can be to jab someone in the throat with your elbow, and then on Saturday I went to the three hour stretching and conditioning class.

Have I lost my mind or am I so dazed by the magic of Kung Fu that I can't stop myself?  I think it's a little of both.  I mean let's face it, I'm 49 years old, starting martial arts.  Everytime I stand next to that little 6 year old boy who out ranks me, and gives me the eye, I just want to say "what the hell are YOU looking at?!!".  But hey, this is a different system and culture and the little tike out ranks me, so pride aside, he gets my respect.  And guess what, I'm actually starting to get some of the form down.  I don't want to get too excited about it, because I need to stay humble, but I am kinda excited that I'm learning and that my body is holding up to the postures and forms.

And here's a little secret.  I'm also studying martial arts because it makes me a better Witch.  As I was perusing my favorite used bookstore, Westside Books, about a year ago, I found a book called a "A Grimore of Shadows" by Ed Fitch.  The pages in the book were slightly aged and it had these groovy illustrations.  Ed Fitch was a close friend of the Bucklands and he wrote this book to help Witches create and run covens, and also to continue to grow in their craft.  I was reading the book, I came across a chapter where Ed said that as Witches we should be proficient in the defensive arts of our time.  We should know how to defend ourselves, using whatever modalities of our culture and time are available to us.  That really stuck with me.  Granted I've always had a fascination with martial arts, but when I read what Ed Fitch said, it stuck.  Hence I now find myself in these classes.

I took a plunge tonight and signed up for a six month membership.  I was going to sign up for a year, but one thing about being 49 is that I know myself now, and I can get bored with taking these classes just as fast as I got excited by them.  However I'm hoping I can stick with it, because I'm having a good time and I'm learning things about me and my capabilites that I never knew.

End Trans - 1/20/10

Tai Chi Me

I'm back from Tai Chi class.  Remember the Charlie Brown cartoon where the teacher is talking to the students and all you can hear is "blah, blah, blah"?  That's what tonight felt like.  I felt like everyone was speaking a language I didn't understand - "tiger returns to the cave, fair maiden works the shuttles, plant the hammer, as if to be sealed" - WHAT?!  I don't get it.  Hold yourself as if your head is being held upright by a string, well if I hold my head upright I can see the f*cking postures!  And then, does anyone have any questions?  Uh, yeah  can you print that out for me? No way, read your manual.  Ok, but I still don't get it.

But then some good things did happen.  I almost tied my belt correctly.  I got some help with my Chi Kung postures and now I just might be able to run through all six successfully, at home.  And during class I stopped trying to "get it" and just started following and the form started coming.  And before I knew it the gong rang and class was over.  And the people are so nice.  They are all very open and accomodating.  Guess when you're in a room with 30 people who can snap your neck, there's no need to be mean or intimidating.  After Tai Chi was over, they convinced me to try the Kung Fu class.  Just come and try it.  You need to see the entire picture.  Uh, ok.  So now I'm going to Kung Fu tomorrow night.  Pray I just get my Gi on right.

End Trans 1/13/10

Japan 2010!

I'll be 50 years old in May.  As a good friend said today "what???!".  I know it's hard for me to believe it too, and with that said I've decided to let the gray that so vigorously wants to stay in my hair, stay.  But that's a whole 'nother story.

I've been obsessed with Japan and all things Japanese since I was a child.  I attribute a lot of this to going to elementary school in LA, with a lot of Japanese children.  Not to mention the huge influence of Japanese and Chinese culture in California itself.  I have great memories of eating in Japanese restaurants with tatami mats, and rooms secluded by bamboo screens.  And I love Japanese and Chinese food.  I am definitely a ramen addict and could eat Thai food, Japanese food and Chinese food all day, every day.  I'm beginning to drool now, just thinking about the cuisine.

SO, what about this trip to Japan?  In my life that is the magickal mystery tour of Najah, I have always felt that it was part of my destiny to visit Japan.  Something larger than just a visit calls me there.  My eyes ache to see a Geisha as she slips down an alley, going about her business for the evening.  My heart longs to see Mt. Fuji.  And I can hardly wait to take a ride on the bullet train.
I long to see a temple shrouded in mist, and walk the steps to sacred sites.  My body aches for the release of a Japanese hot spring.  And the doll, there's a Japanese porcelain doll just waiting for me in lacquered black box.  I just know it.

It took me a while to decide on the best time to visit, as my heart had been set on visiting during Cherry Blossom festival time.  But then I happened upon photos of Japan in autumn, and my breath was taken away.  The beauty of the Japanese Maples and the still beauty of the temples in autumn,  is beyond description.  So, I've decided to visit Japan in the fall.

As I began to approach 50, several months ago, I said to myself, how am I ever going to get to Japan, if I don't take myself there?  Can I really do it?  This is one of the soul things I'm meant to do, but will I really do it?  So, a few years back I got my passport. And then about a year ago I started saving.  There were lots of stops and starts, but I did it.  Today I made my deposit to my Japan savings account, so now I can buy my tickets!! Whoo-hooo!

I've been blessed to make a blog pal, who is living in Kyoto, attending the University of Japan.  I found her blog as I was googling for pictures of Japan.  Below is a link to one of her photos, that sums up all my feelings and what I hope to see when I'm there.  I hope to post soon that I've purchased my tickets!

Enjoy - http://www.flickr.com/photos/hollywood_north/2253989346

End Trans 1/13/10

Teeth Pain - Again

My love/hate relationship with the dentist continues topping out with whopping pain in the left side of my face.  A serious cold came on, adding to the throbbing, blinding, headache pain I have, whether I turn my head, left or right, or move it up and down.
Is it the dentist's fault?  Do I blame them.  Nah.  I'm grown-up enough to know I needed to go to the dentist, but I'm sad I'm suffering from pain that wasn't there before I went.  I appreciate they saw me right away and prescribed me antibiotics - although I'm hoping it doesn't give me that girl side affect, the women know what I'm talking about, and pain meds.  Have you ever noticed how teeth pain gets your attention?
So, I'm home bound, snuggled in and medicated, and hopeful by tomorrow it will truly be a brand new day.

End Trans 1/07/10

Teeth Pain

It's 1 o'clock in the morning and I'm up.  My teeth hurt.  Right after the movies today I went to the dentist.  And believe me, me going to the dentist is a big deal.  This is my second trip to the dentist in six years.  There's nothing magickal or mystical about having a 4 inch needle stuck in your gums.  And teeth pain is different.  The regular old tylenol or advil doesn't begin to touch it. I'm thankful I've held onto vicodin that was prescribed for me for another condition.  I mean doesn't everybody hold onto their pain meds, hoarding them like precious commodities because you never know when you'll need them?  I do, and it's for times like these that I am grateful that I do. 

This pain is from having my teeth cleaned.  Can you believe that?  My gums are so sensitive and I have such a high level of dental PTSD that the only way they could clean my teeth, was to numb my half my mouth, and clean half my teeth at a time.  Again, women here play a powerful role.  My husband, bless his wonderful heart, is a regular dentist goer.  The only way he was able to convince me to go, was by telling me the new dentist is a woman.  And sure enough, that was the ticket to get me to go back.  See I was traumatized by a man dentist.  Several years ago I went in for a routine wisdom teeth removal, only to painfully learn the dentist was in way in over his head.  I kept coming up out of the anesthesia, seeing the dentist sweating, trying to ratchet my teeth out of my head.  His ineptitude resulted in my receiving a horrid sinus infection, which resulted in me having out patient surgery to remove the infection!  No wonder I have dental PTSD. But sure enough Dr. Manske and her wonderful staff, again, all women, let me cry and tell them why it had been so long since I'd been to the dentist.  And to keep me coming back, and help me with the pain - six years without a cleaning is a long time, they numb the entire half of my mouth, so they can chip away at the build up.  Makes my skin crawl just writing about it.

Now thankfully I was raised with good oral hygiene.  My Mom instilled in me good dental practices.  I can't sleep unless I brush my teeth before I go bed.  That practice has saved me, because according to my exam I don't need much work, no root canals - thank god! - just some filling upkeep on a couple of crowns. So does this mean I'm going to follow through with my dental plan?  Yeah, I'll keep going even though it gives me the heebie jeebies and sets me off kilter for hours afterward.  Why, well for one I'm beginning to trust in Dr. Manske and her great team.  Two, I don't want to lose my teeth.  Mom was telling me a while awhile ago about how important it is to have your teeth as one gets older.  Definitely want to keep my teeth, so I'll keep going.

Thanks for listening.  The pain is subsiding and I can go back to bed to now.

End Trans 1/5/10

I'm Stoked! AVATAR in digital 3D Rocks!

Ok, I'm a techie, and I'm a sucker for anything visual that smacks of the dreamtime and visions. Add to that powerful women and I'm hooked.  James Cameron has hit the nail on the head with AVATAR.  There's something here for everyone, action, adventure, sci-fi, tech, great plot, all the things that make a movie great and memorable.  Further more Cameron breaks out da box and says "yeah we can do this and more".  I appreciate his courage to say what he has said...notice I'm being very careful not to be a plot spoiler, cause I hate that sh*t.

And oh yeah, I have a new girl crush...Michelle Rodriquez.  I've been a fan of her work since "Girlfight" which I thank my kids for turning me on to watching.  Way to go sister.  Carry on!

End Trans 1/4/10

Woman's Space

"We all come from the Goddess and to Her we shall return like a drop of rain, flowing to the ocean"    ZBudapest.

We gathered for Circle last night.  Six of us, coming together in worship.  We came to worship the Goddess and have Woman's Space.

How important is it for us to gather together as women?  One of the things that led me to a Goddess-centered life was the ability to worship Divinity through the power of Women.  We need to see ourselves in a positive light, in a strong light and to know we exist in Divinity, separate from the role of care-giver and nurturer.  As we worship the Goddess we come to know Her power, Her strength, Her voice, and we know She hears and speaks to us.

"The Full Moon is calling, the fever is high, and the wicked wind whispers and moans..." , my favorite line from the Eagles "One of The Nights".  I love seeing the Moon rise, feeling my own fever and emotions rise, and knowing I have a place to be, with those who feel the same as me, in Circle.  Thirteen times a year I am able to honor my feelings, my love of the Moon, the Goddess and the Universe, and be healed and raised to the ectasy of the Divine.

Outsiders don't get it.  They think "How can you experience divinity outside of a church"?  My divinity lies within me, nurtured by the Moon, the turn of the Wheel, and the changing of the seasons.  It wakes up and smiles through the scent of incense and the light of candles burning.  It speaks to me through song and the written word, and as a Pagan and practicing Witch it is always there for me.  It may be different from the norm, but it's my way, and I am blessed to have found it.

Blessed Be