Full Moon Glory!

Full Moon Glory!
Luna Bright, Full Moon Light!

Lullaby by Nox Arcana - Absolutely Lovely

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Blame it on the Craft

A&E's "Paranormal State". Why do I watch such crap?

One because I'm bored, the other because I find it "entertaining". However this last show got my blood boiling. A man with a pentagram tattooed on his arm that used to practice "Witchcraft" takes credit for calling up a "shadow demon" in Circle, then everybody freaks, and have been tormented ever since. Give me a f*$!ing break! Then the shows producers and the family start to calling it a seance. Then they say, well do you think this happened because you broke the Circle? So to "heal" the family they call on Jesus Christ, everybody sits around a table and clasps hands together and now it's "magically gone" and everyone is happy.
I find the entire show blasphemous and irresponsible. Complete and utter nonsense. And who knows, maybe he did call up something dark and freaky from his own mind(!) But to blame it on Witchcraft is awful.

Let me state it for the record, right here and right now - Circle is SACRED!  It's a place where Witches, Pagans, come to worship and honor the Goddess and the God.  It's not a place where one calls up dark forces or entities, or WHATEVER.  Circle is a sacred place where we touch our Divinity and are healed and blessed, just like Christians do when they go to Church and pray.  It's no different.  The same feelings of reverence and beauty and love exist, except maybe we're out in Nature -hopefully, or we're in someone's home or backyard.

I love being in Circle.  It fills my heart and lifts my soul.  Shame, shame on A&E's "Paranormal State".  I for one will be finding a new show watch, from now on, when I'm bored.

End Trans 1/24/10

Saturday, January 23, 2010

New Journal Day

It's new journal day and I can feel myself getting all tingly inside.  I LOVE shopping for a new journal.  When I shop for a new journal I'm at the peak of my creative process.  I start to think about what store will I go to, what color will the book be, how will the pages look?  The thought of having a new journal to write in fills me with peace and inspiration.

I've journaled since I was a kid.  An empty place to hold my thoughts and words has always been my best friend.  Once on the advice of someone I trusted, I threw away all my journals. So sad, I know.  This person told me that keeping all those past memories under my bed was preventing me from moving forward, so I listened to them and threw them out.  I only regret throwing out one, it was my sweet little diary.  The one I'd had since I was eight years old.  It was orange and had a lock and a key.  It was my first diary.  I miss that one, still.  So note to anyone who is reading this and is a journaler - don't throw out your journals!  Maybe bury them or lock them away, but don't throw them out!

I moved into a new phase of journaling when I started working The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, and she taught me about Morning Pages.  Morning Pages have become my sweet, sweet, quiet time for reflection, meditation and insight.  At first I thought that if I wrote three pages, every day, I wouldn't have anything else to write, but it's been just the opposite.  Doing that mind dump in the morning frees up my thoughts. 
I look forward to writing my Morning Pages.  And thus far, in a process of 11 weeks, give or take, I haven't missed a day of writing my Morning Pages.  I plan to continue them even after I finish the workbook and I only have one more chapter to go.

The changes have been profound.  Julia Cameron got me to see myself as an artist, a label I would have never attributed to myself, since I'm not a painter, a dancer, a crafter, etc, etc, etc.  But I do have a good sense of color and magic, magick, and mystery, and ritual, and that makes me a creative person.  The other day I found a magnet that reads "Artists Always Welcome".  I bought it and stuck it up on my wall, in my creative space.  It makes me smile every time I look at it.

And then there are the Artist Dates, where you take your inner child artist, on a date.  It's all about them.  We've had a blast, buying silly, goofy, things and also some things that a little girl always wanted. Its funny, as an adult, you grow up learning to put your child self away, but what I've learned through the Artist's Way, is its the child inside, who is the most important part of your adult life.

So, I'm off to find a new journal and maybe even a new pen -ooooh, won't that be special!

End Trans 1/23/10

Friday, January 22, 2010

Prayers For Haiti

I belong to a great group on the web.  It's called MyHoodooSpace and it's provided courtesy of Dr.Kioni.com

There are many in this group who have deep religious ties to Haiti.  Of these beautiful people I have asked for a prayer.  This prayer touched my heart, and with the author's permission, I gladly share it here:

"Papa Legba, Antibon, Father of a Nacion du 'Ayti
The roads are covered Papa, the paths a blocked
Only you, Papa can clear the road. Lend your hand Papa,
Lend your hand to those whose hands toil for the preservation of your land
Lend your hand to those who are desolate and are lost
Lend your hand to those who are far from their Spiritual home
Lend your hand to 'Ayiti, and to all those who are of 'Ayiti that the roads and paths may be soon cleared
That a new day may come in 'Ayiti
Let it be known that it comes from God, through your hand Papa
Hear the cry of the children of Ginen and Lend your hand
Nou tout sen yo - we are all one
Ayibobo! Ayibobo! Papa Legba Antibon, Legba vye, Ayibobo!

This is my prayer ... feel free to use it, change it or ignore it, but this is what my heart is praying over and over right now for 'Ayiti, for it's people, and for all of us that have our soul and our gwo bon anj tied to that land."
by H'oungan Liam

I am learning a lot about Haiti and it's religions.  I thank H'oungan Liam for sharing this prayer from his heart, and for the power, strength, and peace I feel when I pray it.  As an open-minded person, I feel I can pray this prayer and let it be.  May you too feel its strength, comfort, and promise of hope.

End Trans 1/22/10

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Tai Chi Me/Kung Fu You

It's been a week since my last post.  I've been stretched and pulled, groaning and grunting, and at one point I almost hyperventilated, from my three hour Yin/Yang stretching and conditioning class.  In one week I went to Tai Chi class, then I went to my first Kung Fu class, where I learned how much fun it can be to jab someone in the throat with your elbow, and then on Saturday I went to the three hour stretching and conditioning class.

Have I lost my mind or am I so dazed by the magic of Kung Fu that I can't stop myself?  I think it's a little of both.  I mean let's face it, I'm 49 years old, starting martial arts.  Everytime I stand next to that little 6 year old boy who out ranks me, and gives me the eye, I just want to say "what the hell are YOU looking at?!!".  But hey, this is a different system and culture and the little tike out ranks me, so pride aside, he gets my respect.  And guess what, I'm actually starting to get some of the form down.  I don't want to get too excited about it, because I need to stay humble, but I am kinda excited that I'm learning and that my body is holding up to the postures and forms.

And here's a little secret.  I'm also studying martial arts because it makes me a better Witch.  As I was perusing my favorite used bookstore, Westside Books, about a year ago, I found a book called a "A Grimore of Shadows" by Ed Fitch.  The pages in the book were slightly aged and it had these groovy illustrations.  Ed Fitch was a close friend of the Bucklands and he wrote this book to help Witches create and run covens, and also to continue to grow in their craft.  I was reading the book, I came across a chapter where Ed said that as Witches we should be proficient in the defensive arts of our time.  We should know how to defend ourselves, using whatever modalities of our culture and time are available to us.  That really stuck with me.  Granted I've always had a fascination with martial arts, but when I read what Ed Fitch said, it stuck.  Hence I now find myself in these classes.

I took a plunge tonight and signed up for a six month membership.  I was going to sign up for a year, but one thing about being 49 is that I know myself now, and I can get bored with taking these classes just as fast as I got excited by them.  However I'm hoping I can stick with it, because I'm having a good time and I'm learning things about me and my capabilites that I never knew.

End Trans - 1/20/10

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Tai Chi Me

I'm back from Tai Chi class.  Remember the Charlie Brown cartoon where the teacher is talking to the students and all you can hear is "blah, blah, blah"?  That's what tonight felt like.  I felt like everyone was speaking a language I didn't understand - "tiger returns to the cave, fair maiden works the shuttles, plant the hammer, as if to be sealed" - WHAT?!  I don't get it.  Hold yourself as if your head is being held upright by a string, well if I hold my head upright I can see the f*cking postures!  And then, does anyone have any questions?  Uh, yeah  can you print that out for me? No way, read your manual.  Ok, but I still don't get it.

But then some good things did happen.  I almost tied my belt correctly.  I got some help with my Chi Kung postures and now I just might be able to run through all six successfully, at home.  And during class I stopped trying to "get it" and just started following and the form started coming.  And before I knew it the gong rang and class was over.  And the people are so nice.  They are all very open and accomodating.  Guess when you're in a room with 30 people who can snap your neck, there's no need to be mean or intimidating.  After Tai Chi was over, they convinced me to try the Kung Fu class.  Just come and try it.  You need to see the entire picture.  Uh, ok.  So now I'm going to Kung Fu tomorrow night.  Pray I just get my Gi on right.

End Trans 1/13/10

Japan 2010!

I'll be 50 years old in May.  As a good friend said today "what???!".  I know it's hard for me to believe it too, and with that said I've decided to let the gray that so vigorously wants to stay in my hair, stay.  But that's a whole 'nother story.

I've been obsessed with Japan and all things Japanese since I was a child.  I attribute a lot of this to going to elementary school in LA, with a lot of Japanese children.  Not to mention the huge influence of Japanese and Chinese culture in California itself.  I have great memories of eating in Japanese restaurants with tatami mats, and rooms secluded by bamboo screens.  And I love Japanese and Chinese food.  I am definitely a ramen addict and could eat Thai food, Japanese food and Chinese food all day, every day.  I'm beginning to drool now, just thinking about the cuisine.

SO, what about this trip to Japan?  In my life that is the magickal mystery tour of Najah, I have always felt that it was part of my destiny to visit Japan.  Something larger than just a visit calls me there.  My eyes ache to see a Geisha as she slips down an alley, going about her business for the evening.  My heart longs to see Mt. Fuji.  And I can hardly wait to take a ride on the bullet train.
I long to see a temple shrouded in mist, and walk the steps to sacred sites.  My body aches for the release of a Japanese hot spring.  And the doll, there's a Japanese porcelain doll just waiting for me in lacquered black box.  I just know it.

It took me a while to decide on the best time to visit, as my heart had been set on visiting during Cherry Blossom festival time.  But then I happened upon photos of Japan in autumn, and my breath was taken away.  The beauty of the Japanese Maples and the still beauty of the temples in autumn,  is beyond description.  So, I've decided to visit Japan in the fall.

As I began to approach 50, several months ago, I said to myself, how am I ever going to get to Japan, if I don't take myself there?  Can I really do it?  This is one of the soul things I'm meant to do, but will I really do it?  So, a few years back I got my passport. And then about a year ago I started saving.  There were lots of stops and starts, but I did it.  Today I made my deposit to my Japan savings account, so now I can buy my tickets!! Whoo-hooo!

I've been blessed to make a blog pal, who is living in Kyoto, attending the University of Japan.  I found her blog as I was googling for pictures of Japan.  Below is a link to one of her photos, that sums up all my feelings and what I hope to see when I'm there.  I hope to post soon that I've purchased my tickets!

Enjoy - http://www.flickr.com/photos/hollywood_north/2253989346

End Trans 1/13/10

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Teeth Pain - Again

My love/hate relationship with the dentist continues topping out with whopping pain in the left side of my face.  A serious cold came on, adding to the throbbing, blinding, headache pain I have, whether I turn my head, left or right, or move it up and down.
Is it the dentist's fault?  Do I blame them.  Nah.  I'm grown-up enough to know I needed to go to the dentist, but I'm sad I'm suffering from pain that wasn't there before I went.  I appreciate they saw me right away and prescribed me antibiotics - although I'm hoping it doesn't give me that girl side affect, the women know what I'm talking about, and pain meds.  Have you ever noticed how teeth pain gets your attention?
So, I'm home bound, snuggled in and medicated, and hopeful by tomorrow it will truly be a brand new day.

End Trans 1/07/10

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Teeth Pain

It's 1 o'clock in the morning and I'm up.  My teeth hurt.  Right after the movies today I went to the dentist.  And believe me, me going to the dentist is a big deal.  This is my second trip to the dentist in six years.  There's nothing magickal or mystical about having a 4 inch needle stuck in your gums.  And teeth pain is different.  The regular old tylenol or advil doesn't begin to touch it. I'm thankful I've held onto vicodin that was prescribed for me for another condition.  I mean doesn't everybody hold onto their pain meds, hoarding them like precious commodities because you never know when you'll need them?  I do, and it's for times like these that I am grateful that I do. 

This pain is from having my teeth cleaned.  Can you believe that?  My gums are so sensitive and I have such a high level of dental PTSD that the only way they could clean my teeth, was to numb my half my mouth, and clean half my teeth at a time.  Again, women here play a powerful role.  My husband, bless his wonderful heart, is a regular dentist goer.  The only way he was able to convince me to go, was by telling me the new dentist is a woman.  And sure enough, that was the ticket to get me to go back.  See I was traumatized by a man dentist.  Several years ago I went in for a routine wisdom teeth removal, only to painfully learn the dentist was in way in over his head.  I kept coming up out of the anesthesia, seeing the dentist sweating, trying to ratchet my teeth out of my head.  His ineptitude resulted in my receiving a horrid sinus infection, which resulted in me having out patient surgery to remove the infection!  No wonder I have dental PTSD. But sure enough Dr. Manske and her wonderful staff, again, all women, let me cry and tell them why it had been so long since I'd been to the dentist.  And to keep me coming back, and help me with the pain - six years without a cleaning is a long time, they numb the entire half of my mouth, so they can chip away at the build up.  Makes my skin crawl just writing about it.

Now thankfully I was raised with good oral hygiene.  My Mom instilled in me good dental practices.  I can't sleep unless I brush my teeth before I go bed.  That practice has saved me, because according to my exam I don't need much work, no root canals - thank god! - just some filling upkeep on a couple of crowns. So does this mean I'm going to follow through with my dental plan?  Yeah, I'll keep going even though it gives me the heebie jeebies and sets me off kilter for hours afterward.  Why, well for one I'm beginning to trust in Dr. Manske and her great team.  Two, I don't want to lose my teeth.  Mom was telling me a while awhile ago about how important it is to have your teeth as one gets older.  Definitely want to keep my teeth, so I'll keep going.

Thanks for listening.  The pain is subsiding and I can go back to bed to now.

End Trans 1/5/10

Monday, January 4, 2010

I'm Stoked! AVATAR in digital 3D Rocks!

Ok, I'm a techie, and I'm a sucker for anything visual that smacks of the dreamtime and visions. Add to that powerful women and I'm hooked.  James Cameron has hit the nail on the head with AVATAR.  There's something here for everyone, action, adventure, sci-fi, tech, great plot, all the things that make a movie great and memorable.  Further more Cameron breaks out da box and says "yeah we can do this and more".  I appreciate his courage to say what he has said...notice I'm being very careful not to be a plot spoiler, cause I hate that sh*t.

And oh yeah, I have a new girl crush...Michelle Rodriquez.  I've been a fan of her work since "Girlfight" which I thank my kids for turning me on to watching.  Way to go sister.  Carry on!

End Trans 1/4/10

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Woman's Space

"We all come from the Goddess and to Her we shall return like a drop of rain, flowing to the ocean"    ZBudapest.

We gathered for Circle last night.  Six of us, coming together in worship.  We came to worship the Goddess and have Woman's Space.

How important is it for us to gather together as women?  One of the things that led me to a Goddess-centered life was the ability to worship Divinity through the power of Women.  We need to see ourselves in a positive light, in a strong light and to know we exist in Divinity, separate from the role of care-giver and nurturer.  As we worship the Goddess we come to know Her power, Her strength, Her voice, and we know She hears and speaks to us.

"The Full Moon is calling, the fever is high, and the wicked wind whispers and moans..." , my favorite line from the Eagles "One of The Nights".  I love seeing the Moon rise, feeling my own fever and emotions rise, and knowing I have a place to be, with those who feel the same as me, in Circle.  Thirteen times a year I am able to honor my feelings, my love of the Moon, the Goddess and the Universe, and be healed and raised to the ectasy of the Divine.

Outsiders don't get it.  They think "How can you experience divinity outside of a church"?  My divinity lies within me, nurtured by the Moon, the turn of the Wheel, and the changing of the seasons.  It wakes up and smiles through the scent of incense and the light of candles burning.  It speaks to me through song and the written word, and as a Pagan and practicing Witch it is always there for me.  It may be different from the norm, but it's my way, and I am blessed to have found it.

Blessed Be