A Quiet Room

There's an ache where there used be a smile, concern, apprehension, caring, anxiety.  Its been three weeks now since my son moved out and I miss him terribly.

I wake up with his name on my lips.  Calling for him as if he's in trouble.  My mind searching for him, but he's not here.  He's in his own place.  Where he should be, where its time for him to be, and yet all this intellectual knowledge doesn't soothe my heart.

I'll be candid.  Relations with my own family are skewed, distant and weird.  We just don't get each other.

But my relationship with my son is different.  He's my flesh and blood and we're tight.  We're close, we're friends.

He's in the city.  He's not faraway, but there's definitely a change in our domicile.  I know he's not just out, hanging out.  He's on his own and he's most likely not coming back - to live.  Which is I know how it should be and yet I still miss him.

I think of the parents who have lost their children.  Whose children have died before them, or been lost or never come home.  What a terrible, terrible, loneliness and ache that must be for them.  A room silent, with only memories.  A waiting that never goes away.

So in my empty nest grief, I find gratitude that my son is just a few miles away.  I find gratitude that if I send him a text, he writes me right back, and trust that in time this too shall pass.

Blessed Be

End Trans 4/28/10

Blessed Day, Happy Earth Day

Blessed Mother, Divine Mother,

On this day we thank you for the Sun which shines upon us,
The Rain that pours down upon us,
The night that cloaks us,
The Moon that lights us,
And your body which sustains us.

I thank you for the sunny days which make me smile, and the cloudy days that make me frown.  I thank you for teaching me balance, that day follows night, that calm follows storm.
I thank you for your beautiful oceans and all the glorious creatures that live and swim in your waters.
I thank you for all beings human, winged, four-legged, hoppers, runners, jumpers, and the ones that creep me out!
I thank you for green meadows in which to lay my head
And most of all thank you for beautiful butterflies.
Thank you for taking the bodies of those I have loved, resting them and returning them to your body, from whence we all come.
Blessed Mother, Divine Mother
Happy Earth Day to You.

End Trans 4/22/10

Tituba, Salem and Me

I recently donated to the World of Witches Museum.  Its going to be located in Salem, MA and I adore Salem.

I believe I had a past life there.  The first time I visited there I walked around with a prior knowledge of places and I dreamed true there, about mass burials in a grave.  I donated to the Museum because on their Kickstarter page they said they would have an exhibit honoring Tituba.  I like the title the author Maryse Condé gave her, "Tituba, the Black Witch of Salem".


I feel Tituba and I are Spirit Kin.  I feel bonded to her, connected to her.  So little is known about her, yet we know her presence, her knowledge, craft and magick ignited the Salem Witch Trials.  I feel because of Tituba's strength and presence I can be the Witch I am today, and the Witch I hope to become.  Tituba brought me to Hoodoo.  She whispered in my ear and told me I could do it, and showed me that it was in my blood.  Tituba was married to an American Indian man, and my grandfather was a full blood Cherokee.  Tituba was a slave and so were my ancestors.  We are connected.


I hope the World of Witches Museum reaches their goal.  Our community, our world needs such a place.  If Salem touches your heart, won't you consider donating too?


End Trans 4/8/10

A Place of His Own

Our nineteen year old son announced to over the weekend that he was moving out.  He's got a little piece of real estate in a place with a friend.  Its a big day.  Now granted knowing the stats for kids moving out and then moving back in are high, it was the ritual of the official moment that brought this Mom to tears.

His girl and his best friend showed up to help him pack.  He took the necessities and said he'd back in a few days for other things.  Being the good Witch and Conjurer that I am, I packed him a black bag full of goodies for a young wizard stepping out on his journey.  It was hard not to really cry at that point, the moment was not lost on both of us.  "You grew up when I wasn't looking", I remember saying.

So maybe he'll be back and maybe he won't.  I know I never went back home after I left.  That determined streak may be in him too.  Time will tell.  Either way, today was a moment marked in time, and I'm glad it came with love, happiness and celebration.

Now for that shot of whiskey.

End Trans 4/4/10